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RANCHO
AND THE BULLDOG
(i'll
try to divide out chapters later, sorry...)
I
was on the phone with the guy at the CD store, and I think he
told me he loved me. I was calling to get the status of my CD
order. I ordered the Rap-A-Lot records ten-year compilation CD
and it was supposed to take two weeks to come in. Five weeks later,
I'm on the phone with the guy, and I ask the status of my order.
"Let
me look for your slip," he says. I hear him shuffling through
papers and eating a hoagie or maybe a turkey and chipotle mayonnaise
on sourdough. There's a great deli next door and no doubt this
guy gets sandwiches there every day for lunch. He's making wet,
slurpy, munching sounds, breathing snottily through his nose and
somehow rifling papers at the same time. I hear a plop as a blob
of dressing or maybe a tomato falls on one of the papers, then
"oh, shit-bob" and the crumpling of a defiled order
slip. Finally deli sandwich boy is back on the horn. "Sir?"
he waits for me to reply, but I don't know that, so I sit patiently.
"Sir???" he almost shouts, and I can tell that there's
food stuck in his teeth and clinging to his gums.
"Yeah."
"It
looks like it will probably be another week, two. That purtiklar
title is on back-order at the warehouse in Texas. It'll be another
week...two."
"I
ordered it March third. They said two weeks, three. It's been
five weeks, six. Are you sure it's coming?" I was kind of
mocking his vocal style and rhythm, plugging my nose with my thumb
and forefinger. I think it escaped his notice.
"Sorry
sir, these things go on back-order from time to time... ... ...
(Very long pause here
judging from the glug, glug, I think
he drank from a glass of soda) and it's unfortunately beyond our
controls."
"Will
the manager be in later?"
"Bobby(i)
will be in tonight five to eight."
"I'll
see Bobby(i) then."
"Love
ya, bye." the dealer of CD's replied. I didn't know what
to make of it. He said it all jumbled up and quick-like, but I
don't think I could have misunderstood him. Weird.
When
I thought about Bobby(i), the manager, I pictured an ex-military
bruiser or a gym teacher type female, either one with a crew cut,
and I didn't like it. However, I wanted my CD, or at most a bit
of...justice I guess. I knew it was a no-win situation, but, as
sandwich boy said, it was beyond my control at this point.
I
left work and it was really hot outside. It was hard to breathe,
instant headache hot. I got in my car and my Meatloaf cassette
had melted onto the dashboard. It emitted a crazed chemical burn
smell that would bring me back to this day every time I ran my
defroster. I scraped it up a little with a map and threw all this
into a trashcan cooking nearby. I missed old Meatloaf already.
Doggone sun.
Traffic
was terrible on all of the roads I wanted to be on. I sat and
listened to the radio, and didn't like what any of the stations
were playing. The fan under my hood made an angry noise, like
it was overworked. I stopped at a stop sign next to a woman in
some sort of German convertible. She looked at me and hated me
for no reason. She turned up her radio and rolled up her windows,
even though her car had no roof. I don't know what I did to make
her so mad. The light turned and she floored it, her wide rear
tires squealed a bit then took hold, her rear end slid my way,
and then jumped forward. Suddenly there was a gunshot crack, loud
and too close. I jumped and whimpered a little. It was one of
the fancy lady's back tires exploding. I saw what looked like
smoke and shrapnel, but was really just pressurized air and tire.
Rubber, dust, and bits of tire flew outward from her wheel well.
The car lurched to the right and the front tire popped sliding
sideways over the curb. She was drunk or tired, and finally hit
the brakes as she crashed through a hedge and into a stone wall
in front of the Comfort Inn. She wasn't traveling very fast at
that point, so she saved her fancy make-up from a good smudging
on the steering wheel by a few inches. I hadn't even moved yet.
I decided to get off the main roads and took the next left. Soon
I was in the paint peeling neighborhoods. The unmowed yards and
starving dogs neighborhood. An old pair of Adidas hung from the
wires overhead. There were three kids playing catch near the street
with a dodge ball probably filched from a nearby community center.
As I drove past, a kid on the passenger side threw it over my
hood to a kid on the driver side. This kids hands were about two
sizes too big for his body. He bobbled the ball and knocked it
in through my window. The ball struck the side of my cheek, bounced
down to the steering wheel and then to my passenger seat. I decided
to keep it. The boys were spitting mad, and I had to run the next
two stoplights before they gave up chasing me and teaching me
the latest profanities.
I
drove on, mapping my route to the CD store in my head so that
I wouldn't have to take any main roads whatsoever. If I planned
it right I would come out of an alley into the back parking lot
of the store, the route of least possible human contact. Meatloaf
came on the radio and I got happy. I drove and tapped out the
beat on my steering wheel. Top of the wheel was tri-toms, bottom
was bass, and center was cymbals. I tapped away. There was a drum
crescendo and the cymbals crashed out a tune on my horn. Suddenly
there was a popping whoosh. My left hand was driven back into
my face by the airbag; my eyes closed out of instinct and then
were stuck that way by a fine white powder. My left hand careened
into my face just below my right eye, gouging the skin and then
digging into my eye socket and making me see white stars on that
side. I had the sense to take my foot off the gas, but I didn't
hit the brake. My car coasted into another and came to a crashing
halt. It's a good thing my seat belt was there for me, because
my air bag was not. The Meatloaf song ended, so I turned off the
radio, and then my car's engine. There was powder everywhere,
finer than flour, and I could barely see or breathe. I grabbed
my new dodge ball and got out of the car. The CD store was closing
in about 2 hours and was about two miles away. I'd have to try
to hitch a ride, and in a hurry. I looked carefully behind for
the previous owners of the dodge ball and began my walk. My finger
traced the raised letters on the side of the ball. "Gym Monkey,"
they read.
I
walked for about six blocks before a car stopped to pick me up.
At least I thought they had stopped to pick me up.
"Hey,
where'd you get that ball?" asked the passenger, confrontational
like.
I
didn't miss a beat "The Gym Monkey outlet at the mall in
Cedar Run." The passenger had brown hair bleached blond,
I could tell by his eyebrows. Currently his eyebrows were lowered
and confused looking. He wore a white ribbed tank top of the sort
referred to commonly as a wife beater. He also wore baggy blue
jeans and looked like about a billion other people I've seen.
He had a Slurpee in his hand, maybe cherry flavor.
"Gym
Monkey outlet, huh?" he sounded kind of dumb. I felt sorry
for him and his confusion.
"Yep."
The
two teens drove on. Their car had been rear ended pretty bad,
and the paint that had wiped off on it, like when you kiss a couple
of ice cream cones together, was exactly the shade of my car.
I couldn't believe the Gym Monkey Outlet thing had worked. I walked
two more blocks before a middle-aged guy stopped for me. He drove
a dark blue Lincoln. It had tan leather seats cooled by the air
conditioning and feeling like heaven. He'd never heard of the
CD Store I was headed to, but he could take me as far as 5th and
Ivy. He was wearing an expensive sport coat over a polyester shirt
on top, bright blue soccer shorts on bottom. This would maybe
have concerned me if I weren't nestled into heavenly cool leather
seats. It was like climbing into the fridge and taking a seat
in a tub of Country Crock margarine spread. He was listening to
some cool 80's tunes on the radio, the Cars, I think. It was kind
of relaxing. He reached over and touched my face below my eye.
A trickle of blood led down from where my finger had gouged it
earlier. Something about it seemed weird, not effeminate, but
maybe genuinely concerned or extremely confused. I winced, and
he brought his hand back and looked at the blood on it. "Been
in some trouble?" he asked. He wasn't accusing or threatening,
just curious. I was a little creeped out by the touch. It wasn't
a come-on, I didn't think. I'd seen those before. It was more
like he loved the blood, wanted to seduce it.
"Little
car trouble." I answered. I think he could tell I was getting
standoffish. He tilted his body a bit to the side, away from me.
I settled the Gym Monkey ball solidly on my lap, and was comforted
by this inflatable barrier between the man and me.
"Car
trouble that made you bleeeeeed?" he asked. You know what?
I was now officially very creeped out. He said the word bleed
like a hungry zombie in a B movie. A slow, Vincent Price, Transylvanian
accent. I wanted out, but demanding to be let off immediately
seemed a bit cliché, a little more of the B movie fodder.
I would brave the last mile or so to Ivy. The driver bit his nail
and sucked his fingertip. It took me a minute to realize it was
the one he'd dabbed a bit of my blood up with. I took a minute
to reply.
"I
hit something. Airbag. Car won't drive, because I punctured my
radiator." I didn't know if I really had punctured my radiator.
It sounded right. I had absolutely no idea what I hit, so it was
a fine thing he didn't ask me. A familiar high school song came
on the radio. It was unmistakably the Red Hot Chili Peppers, saucy
guitar and gividdawaynow! The man started angrily tapping his
foot on the gas pedal. The Continental surged forward, slowed,
forward, slowed; the front end bobbing like it was on hydraulic
lifters. I was scared, and even more scared when I looked over
and saw the chubby man in his fifties was quietly crying, making
"woo" noises to the beat.
"He
killed my daughter, you know," the driver said muddily, "drowned
in my own pool. Cold to the cold blooded." He pointed at
me for emphasis.
"Cold
to the cold blooded." This wasn't the right thing to say,
but I didn't know what that was.
"Anthony
Creavitz, that's who! The lead damn singer of the Red Hot Chili
Peppers, that's who." I hadn't asked, but the crying man
had taken it upon himself to tell me. He pulled over to the side
of the road to kill me and leave me for dead. "I guess you
better go." He said. I didn't know why he was kicking me
out, but I believed him, I'd better go.
"Anthony
Kiedis, man." I said stupidly. I wanted to help him get justice
if that's what he needed. He reached in the glove box, presumably
to get a gun and shoot me, but came out with a deck of playing
cards. They were Bicycle brand with the strange, stoned designs
on the back. On the box was a sticker, printed on an ink jet printer
and smeared from handling. It said the following:
"Anthony Creevis murdered my daughter in cold blood by drowning
until dead in my back yard poole. He and my daughter were smoking
mariwanna and eating mushrooms in my back yard and listening to
the latest Chili Peppers CD when my daughter insulted one of the
songs. Creaviz drowned my daughter in the pool, but the authorities
will not bring him to justice. If you have any infomration on
the death of my daughter, Anna Jaclyn McIntyre, please contact
your local authorities, the FBI, or myself, Jack McIntyre."
It had his address, phone number, and e-mail address. I assumed
he used the playing cards as a vehicle to distribute his message.
"I
used to use matchbooks, but they get thrown away." I nodded
my head as if it all made perfect sense. I was once again clueless
as to the right thing to say. I thanked him for the playing cards
and the ride and he drove away. I walked on, toward the CD store,
trying to ignore the hungry rumble beginning to travel around
in my stomach. I walked past the Amigos Y Famiglia Restaurante
and felt dizzy from the smell of chimichangas and tamales. My
stomach sounded like a wounded Chihuahua. Shit. I was real hungry.
I walked into the restaurant and there were three customers and
one worker. I ordered the special taco quickie platter and giggled
to myself about the connotation of that, while the handsome taco
man went to make my food. I looked at the couple sitting in the
corner under a picture of a very jolly and Hispanic-looking Jesus
walking on the water. They looked quite blotto, and there were
three empty pitchers of what used to be something on the table
before them. Something that had been mixed with chunks of pineapple
and apple and orange, probably wine. The chunks of fruit sat stained
at the bottom of the three dirty pitchers and the couple leaned
on the wall and sang something in Spanish to the tune of "Kumbaya".
I looked to the other corner and saw a man who looked like a black
bulldog, face kind of mashed and smashed and with what looked
like a smile but was really his mouth trying to pick itself back
up again. He looked up at me with yellow eyes, stained like the
fake wine fruit, and belched. He had made it about three-fourths
of the way through a burrito the size of a large cat, and looked
panicked as to what to do with himself from this point forward.
He also had a cracked plastic pitcher of wine and fruit, and I
made up my mind that I, too, must have some of this popular house
drink.
Taco
man came back with my order. I hadn't asked for my food to go,
but the tacos were wrapped in foil so wrinkled it looked thrice
used. The salsa verde dip was in a small, plastic solo cup with
foil for a lid. The fresh nacho chips were in a little paper sack
that would hold fries at an Americano joint. All of this was safely
stowed in a bag that proclaimed "Jacky Mart, the Food Store".
He'd gone through so much trouble; it would have to be to go now.
I asked for some of the fruity wine by pointing at the pitcher
in front of the bulldog. He nodded, and poured me a pitcher from
a huge pot sitting just behind him. He totaled my order in his
head, and I gave him my cash. The ball went under my arm, the
bag in that hand and the pitcher in the other. I had already opened
the out door with my foot when the taco man showed up over my
left shoulder like a ghost.
"Sir",
the taco man had no trace of an accent, why should he, "the
sangria pitchers are not for take out orders." The pitcher
was in such a poor state of repair that this problem hadn't occurred
to me before.
"I...
uhhh, I just, well..." I sounded dumb, but was proud of myself
for opening the door on my own with my hands full and all, and
this had just completely caught me off-guard. Bulldog man suddenly
forgot the quarter-cat burrito festering in front of him and turned
to look at us.
"Rancho,
man, just sell the kid the pitcher, man. He's got places to be,
already been in a car accident, and the CD store closes in twenty,
man. Sell him that pitcher."
I
was so astounded by the man's good idea that I didn't notice the
Miss-Cleo-read-your-past-trick the guy had pulled. I actually
wouldn't fully recognize the bizarre nature of the man's comments
until almost an hour later. I had switched to deal mode now.
"Yah,
what about that? Can I buy the pitcher?" I refused to looked
down at the yellowed transparent plastic, the brownish bubble
where the pitcher had been burnt, the cracks in the handle that
were at that very moment abrading the meat of my palm into burger.
I was in deal mode and couldn't trifle with any small imperfections
with my intended prey.
"How
much do you intend to pay?"
I
didn't like how the deal was progressing, but I pulled the remaining
two dollars I had left out of my pocket and showed them to Rancho.
"No
way that's enough, man, no way." He said. He sounded kind
of sad about it. Here I was, feeling bad for him.
"Rancho,"
the bulldog was right there again, I was starting to like this
guy, "how much you gonna charge the kid? The pitcher is used."
Rancho had been behaving like he didn't know that this scarred,
partially melted pitcher was anything less than the Holy Grail.
He seemed to reconsider.
"Okay
kiddo, give me a buck, okay?" Rancho said. He didn't sound
gypped and he didn't even take my last buck. I was pretty impressed
with Rancho; he might not be all bad after all. I gave him the
crumpled bill and walked out with my food. I had to get on the
ball or there was no way I'd have my CD in hand tonight. It had
to be tonight. I juggled and my arms shook, as I struggled not
to spill my cheap sangria wine or lose the Gym Monkey. I carefully
ate my delicious tacos, stopping from time to time to dribble
some homemade salsa, dip chips, or get a better angle on my pitcher
of sangria. The wine was going straight to my head, and I was
still miles from the CD store and my precious CD. I was dropping
chips and slopping taco sauce and salsa down the front of my button
down Stafford work shirt. I got to the corner of Fulton and Division
and headed right, finishing my wine and handing the empty pitcher
to a homeless man sitting near the corner cradling a cigar box.
I was a bit dizzy and talkative. "You can get a buck for
that, like Rancho did." I told him. He looked at me blankly
and I decided to take it for grateful admiration. I walked on,
thirsty, talkative, and numb about the head. A man walked by dressed
in the largest flannel lumberjack shirt I have ever seen. He was
about 5 feet 8 inches tall, and the shirt hung well below his
knees. The sleeves were rolled up so his dirty hands could peek
out, like raw sausage dropped in dirt, the rolls were thick and
round, giving his forearms a boosted Popeye look. He may have
been wearing short pants underneath, or maybe none at all. I didn't
want to know. I thought if he belted the huge lumberjack shirt
it would be much more flattering to his figure, but I didn't say
so. The folds of the shirt covered for a moment the Tupperware
dish the man carried. It was roughly two sandwich sized, square,
dirty, scarred, and a bit misshapen. There was a Post-It note
attached to the top of the container with clear packing tape,
and someone had written "Not alien fetuses" on it with
black marker. Somehow I didn't think that the lumberjack had written
it. I had the sudden urge to give him one of my tacos, and I did.
I handed him the food and we still hadn't said anything to one
another. He took the corn-shelled delicacy in his massive sausage
hand, which shook as he raised it to his mouth. He turned his
head sideways, and took a bite.
"They're
not alien fetuses." he said.
"I
know," I replied, and I meant it. This seemed the most natural
exchange in the world. He finished his taco in about three seconds,
wiped his hands on his huge flannel tent of a shirt, and took
the lid off of the alien fetuses. They looked like peaches in
light syrup, but a bit more curled. They had tiny, curled up,
peaceful dead faces. They looked comfortable. He picked one out
and ate it, a tiny string of syrup shining on his lower lip. I
told myself it was a peach, it was only a peach, but I winced
visibly when I heard his teeth separating the flesh, the meat,
whatever you call the body of a peach. I didn't know what to do,
or what to say to this strange lumber cutter who had taken my
taco with some sort of mind control trick. "Want to come
to the CD store?" I asked. I didn't know I was going to ask
him that. If I didn't recognize the voice as my own I would have
sworn someone else had asked him.
"Sure"
he replied. His voice told me he was expecting me to ask. His
voice told me he knew for a fact that it was going to rain at
3:19 tomorrow afternoon, and what was really meant by the theory
of relativity. I was beginning to like this man who looked like
a strange homeless clown. Nose red as if he was drunk or cold,
hair in an afro-like cloud around his head. His voice was melodic,
like a flute or a recorder. Wind through a specially tuned pipe.
This homeless man's voice was that of a father or a preacher or
a teacher who could never be wrong. A warm blanket. He was coming
with me. He looked at cigar box man and told him something with
his bright, crackly, ice water eyes. I continued toward the CD
store, and the man in the flannel tarp followed me. A warm wind
started up and went in circles around us with trash and leaves
and the smell of mold. I walked on and let my mind circle with
it. I got to the CD store and it was dark inside. It was still
open, though. There was no cage on the front door, and there was
the feel of eyes from inside. I stopped for thirty seconds or
an hour, and then went in. Bobbi was at the register eating noodles
from a cardboard container. It was Bobbi, not Bobby, and she was
short haired, blonde, and muscular. A weight lifter, like I thought.
She put down her noodle fork and looked at me. There was heavy
metal sitar music playing through the stereo, and the friend I
had talked to on the phone earlier was on a stepladder in the
corner, hanging CD's from the ceiling with fishing line in. He
knew I was there, but wouldn't look in my direction. He ignored
me on purpose and it was obvious.
I
walked up to the counter and my feet squooshed in the wet carpet.
Someone had either spilled a whole lot of something, or tried
to clean the filthy stuff. I made it to the rough-hewn, wood counter.
It was studded with old staples from concert posters and community
flyers, looking like it would poke you if you let it. I told Bobbi
what was up. I ordered a CD. It was the Rap-A-Lot Records 10 Year
collection. It was the finest rap recording ever released. It
had been six months, or something, Bobbi. I needed that CD, as
a matter of personal happiness, and no one else had been able
to order it for me. Was it in? Please? My sentences were chopped
and mussed. I could feel a tiny muscle under my right eye twitching
uncontrollably.
"Hold
on, let me check." Bobbi said. She had a voice pitched higher
than I had imagined, and I could see her back in high school.
She was a cheerleader, someone's happy daughter, and then she
got hurt. She left the counter, left her noodles, and went in
the back to look for my CD. I was excited. I nervously ate my
last taco as she looked for my CD, and then started work on the
rest of the nachos. I tapped my fingers on the counter and made
a beat for the sitar music. My friend was still on the ladder,
still ignoring me, and ignored even harder when the lumberjack
decided to come in and join us. He opened the door and I didn't
jump, but the chime that was triggered by the door in the back
room did. It sounded like an electronic cowbell back there, and
startled me deeply. I stopped tapping my finger, then started
again, faster than before. The log cutter went to the jazz section
and began examining CD's carefully, as if for germs. When Bobbi
came back, she tried not to look at him even harder than the boy
on the ladder. I didn't know what to think with all of the intense
dishonesty going on here. Both of the CD store employees obviously
knew the man was here, yet both seemed intent on concentrating
him into nonexistence. The dull black case of my CD shone from
Bobbi's lean hand. It was so good to see it that I felt I had
waited twenty years.
"Thanks"
I said. It sounded hollow, but I didn't know what else to say.
I turned the case over and found a note taped to the bottom. It
was on a plain yellow Post-It, just like the one on the lumberjack's
Tupperware. It said this: "The Lumberjack cannot be trusted.
He REALLY IS from another planet. He will kill you, he needs to
harvest certain parts of your body and soul for his own profit."
It was written sloppily in red ballpoint. As I read it, the lumberjack
read it in my face. Somehow he knew he'd been betrayed. He walked
over to the counter, kitty-corner from where I stood. He seemed
to have swelled. He was intimidating, and Bobbi moved closer to
me, trying to get away from him. He reached over and took the
Post-It from the case. He scrunched it up and threw it at Bobbi,
and for some reason I looked to the friend on the ladder. He was
still pretending to take no notice, looking the other way, but
he knew what was going on. The lumberjack pointed his index finger
at Bobbi's head and she went to sleep. Instantly. She fell to
the floor with a "CLUMP" and a cracking of joints and
a flapping of arms. Again for some reason I wasn't surprised by
this turn of events. I was happy to have my CD and I was ashamed
to be fixated on that, it was all I could think of. I got the
feeling the lumberjack didn't want me to think of anything else.
I was a cow on the ramp of the slaughterhouse. I actually leaned
over the counter toward the imposing figure of the man. My friend
in the corner had stopped hanging CD's and walked slowly up the
aisle, toward me. I glanced his way and didn't like what I saw.
His face was thin and feral. It seemed to stretch outward hungrily,
coming to a point at the nose. His eyes seemed much too close
together. Flannel man raised his hand. I knew he would. As his
index finger leveled on me like a pistol, I heard a bit of static
in my head. The man was tuning into my frequency, his voice, the
voice of his mind, waxed and waned in my head, echoing, talking
to itself, overlapping with old phrases and thoughts. He locked
in, and his arm jerked a little as if shocked.
"GO
TO SLEEP. TAKE A NAP. TAKE A LOAD OFF, JACK," a million references
to the same thought echoed back and forth between my ears. Spoken
in a slow, low-pitched singsong. My head lowered on my shoulders
so fast I heard a crack amplified through my skull. I should have
fallen, but stood for a moment, numb, somewhere else. Then I sunk
backward and the CD clerk caught me. The voice got clearer. "Andy,
take him through the back. Get him to the van." So this was
Andy.
Andy
did as he was told. He dragged me back through a room cluttered
with old posters and boxes. I didn't feel my shoe slip off my
left foot, but I saw it lying next to a box marked "clear
sleeves". It made me sad to see it there, I wondered if I'd
get it back. I didn't feel the gray soapy water soaking the back
of my pants, but it did. Andy jerked me around as he shouldered
the door open, and then we were in the alley. It smelled like
old trash, more mold, and something burning. It was hard to breathe.
It was hard to see, and think. I fought to stay conscious as he
lay me down on the ground, letting my head fall the last couple
of inches to the greasy asphalt. I heard Andy unlock the back
doors, then open them. He grabbed me under my arms and grunted
as he dragged me up into the back of the van. The other shoe fell
as my feet grated over the edge of the door. The floor of the
van would have been extremely uncomfortable if I'd had much feeling
in my body. As it was, I felt the cold and damp as if someone
was describing it to me, the grooves in the floor cut into someone
else's back, as the doors slammed shut. Somewhere wind chimes
played music in a familiar tune, a piano joined them, and it reminded
me of being in the cradle as a tiny child. It reminded me of sleeping
all day in terry footie pajamas, listening to adults make goo
goo noises at me. I think I was ready to die. I didn't care what
was next.
Both
front doors opened and closed within seconds of each other. I
could tell which one was the lumberjack because of the deeper
sound of it. It sounded like the door should have broken on its
hinges, or the window should have cracked. The lumberjack had
too much power. I could feel it coming off of him like opening
an oven door. He was getting ready for something. The motor started,
gunning so loudly it would have hurt my ears, if I had feelings.
The van moved forward, and my old body jostled back and forth,
my old head lolled around like I'd lost my neck bones.
The
bullets tore through the van with strange metallic "tang"
noises before I heard the roar of the gun outside. A bullet went
over my right side sounding like a robotic hornet and had just
enough left to lodge in the lumberjack's shoulder. He made a deep
"Unh" noise in his throat and covered the wound with
his huge dirty hand. My eyes had opened stickily at approximately
the time the bullet was lodging near Jack's left scapula. I thought
about sitting up, I was feeling so much better, but then didn't.
The weasley kid behind the wheel punched the accelerator, and
the roar of the nasty old engine drowned out the sound of the
remaining shots. Voices did manage to rise above the roar, somehow.
It took me a moment to realize they were in my head.
"Stop
the van, Col, now. It doesn't have to go this way." So it
was Col, not Jack.
"You
shot me. I have a bullet in my shoulder. It's going to go this
way." Col seemed a little flustered. I got the feeling he
was used to being in complete control. I could feel his energy
rushing over me like wind, concentrating through the bullet holes,
the rust holes, the cracks of the doors to seek out footing in
the minds of our pursuers. I heard snatches of his mental ramblings.
"Back off," and "Get lost," silly, clichéd,
tough guy phrases. "Kill you," "End you,"
"Get you," as he seemed to get more desperate.
A
bullet found the left rear tire and it exploded. The other tire
shrieked as it lost traction and the van spun to the left and
smashed into the brick wall of the nearest building. The top corner
of the van bounced off this wall, rebounded, and rolled back around,
sending the van onto its side. It seemed to slide on the asphalt
for a mile. As the van rolled over, I was bounced along the floor
and onto the side that was now on bottom. My nose smashed into
the floor as I settled to the wall of the van and sent an electric
jolt of red pain through my head. Suddenly I could move again.
"Don't move. Don't move," in my head. It took me a minute
to realize it wasn't my own voice. I moved anyway, sat up on the
side of the van, and then cowered as someone jumped up above my
head. The running step sounded just like thunder, and I instinctively
moved further into the back of my metal prison, away from where
the steps were headed. A soft tinkling as the safety glass of
the driver's window, shattered but still in it's frame, was kicked
in, then three shots. I looked down at weasel boy lying crookedly
across Col on the passenger door and watched their bodies twitch
as the bullets tore into them. Without thinking about it I pulled
the handle of the upper rear door and pushed it open, thinking
it must weigh about as much as two of me. I slipped through the
door, barely keeping it from closing on my foot. A Cadillac sedan
sat just behind the remains of the van. It was an older model,
gunmetal gray with a bit of rust here and there, and roughly the
size of a barn. It took me a minute to recognize the bulldog man
from the restaurant. He looked like he wasn't surprised to see
me here. Rancho jumped down from the van and looked at me appraisingly.
"Let's
go, kid." Rancho's voice was low and husky. I felt so grateful
to him I had tears in my eyes. I followed him around the passenger
side of the Caddy and got in the back. My shoes were on the floor
mat, neatly arranged as if by a personal valet. My Gym Monkey
ball was on the opposite floor mat, and for some reason I was
very, very glad to see it. On the seat above my ball, the little
paper sleeve of tortilla chips and cup of salsa. On a napkin.
I didn't know where they'd found the time to get all my stuff
for me, but they were my two new best friends, Rancho and the
Bulldog. The Dog put the big car in reverse and we coolly slid
backward as sirens wailed in the distance. I put on my shoes,
and Rancho turned up the radio. It was my CD, and it sounded simply
magical. The Dog tapped his fingers on the shiny steering wheel,
to the beat.
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